Why people have affairs?
Talk about a loaded theme that no one wants to chat about, that’s it. Funny thing, extramarital affairs have been going on since millennium. Affairs can be fraught with problems, cause heartache, and other harms. Also you must wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness matter, finances, age difference, religious background, remorse, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this article I should identify an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, dating married men.
Why do women have affairs? There are as many answers as there are man seeking woman for affair. I suppose typically though it is just the human condition, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a few explanations I have run across.
In nature we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and exciting, and sex makes us get away the real world for a brief period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Some people can turn the wish on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the stimulation of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another human being, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the total romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos humanity has erected against affairs. For many individuals the yearnings will defeat their fears and make them risk the wrath of not only their relatives, but society as well. So why, what is the mechanism?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is horribly pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not hurt your spouse or anybody else? You will need to reduce the jeopardy you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the major cluster, huge actually. There are many couples whose marriage is over, except they feel comfy in the manner they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the children to think about. Your money are so entwined. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live jointly besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that prevent them completing the sex act, at least not with their spouse. An extramarital affair at times solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage uharmed.
Neglect, sorrowfully this is a ordinary cause I fear. One or the other, as a rule the gentleman is sexually neglecting his wife for a number of reasons. As a male I really am grateful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them obtainable to us men of romance, making them “hot wives” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but evil.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, could be caring is vanished, maybe it is the closeness, could be neglect. Maybe we have just grown apart, our general interests diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is contradictory of what you want. Could be I simply do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they seek the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for financial gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.